i am very aware that the span of time between these posts is increasing with each month. the truth is, both literally and figuratively, i have been searching for words. (that, and my kitchen has been a mess and i just can't think when my kitchen is a mess) literally speaking...i am unable to blog with pictures right now because of more computer issues. this time it's a memory availability thing. seriously, has it taken that many pictures to record the last couple of years??? we're in the process of transferring them all to a separate hard drive to free up more space. in fact, we've already done so but are too afraid to hit delete on this computer without doing a second back up on cd. because i haven't been scrapbooking, these pictures are the ONLY documentation we have of birthing and raising our children. but now i've trailed and am missing the point. let's head back...
figuratively speaking...it has taken this month to put into words what we have going on. and i am not sure i have them yet but i am ready to try. i have been feeling a little stunned, a little weary, very blessed in the middle of it all, but also in need of finding my way back "home," so to speak. home is an interesting word-to everyone i'm sure-and very much for this family. and lately, the Lord has decided to firmly nail down a lesson for me about home...this time He wants to make sure i get it right.
many of you know, we've experienced much transition in the short six years we've been married: five homes, five cities, and no-kids to two-babies in fourteen blurred months. and with each life-changing event, admittedly, i remember thinking, "ooh, when we..., this and this will happen and that will make us happy." and certain things did, but i should have remembered a line from our favorite movie, "Lonesome Dove." lori is convinced that going to san francisco is the only thing that will make her happy. she keeps waiting for "someday." and in the way that only gus could, he smiles at her and says, "lori, life in san francisco is still just life." except with a little more drawl and wisdom than i can relay using this keyboard. it's true, gus. life stayed trapped in all of the boxes we've moved around the country. those boxes kept some of our good habits but a lot of our bad ones too. and while some of the more recent boxes kept our kids' monumental moments, they also kept their tantrums and their bad days as well.
and now, all around us, change is swirling again. but this time, one part of the change was a little harder to take. and with the realization that life in ... is still just life, this time, there was some heartbreak involved.
that's right. we have news. lots of it. and i'll tell you all about it but i need to make a point first.
so, as i'm driving from shiner to yoakum with my kids in tow, my heart starts melting as my son and daughter are giggling at eachother, trying to keep the sun out of their eyes. in fact, they are giggling so hard my daughter is now belly laughing with that tongue out. and in the moment nolan tries to outdo his sister's reaction, i think of how many times i've actually looked in the rearview and melted. and it occurs to me that, no matter where this car is driving, hearing them together like this will always be home. and then i start thinking, if that's true, then there are a million places that are also home--like seeing my husband on the floor with both of our babies hurling themselves at him, yelling, "tickle, daddy, tickle!" and watching nolan take lori's hand to walk her to the table to eat. and seeing my husband walk in the door after work and being so thankful he's there. and helping nolan as lori tries unrelentlessly to shove her toothbrush into his mouth while i'm brushing his teeth. she thinks it's hilarious and laughs with that tongue out some more. and watching our children love on their grandparents. and, and, and...and by this time, i'm bawling in the front seat. because, it also occurs to me, that these are things that will happen no matter where we go or even if we're in a transition period. and i don't have to be sad, anxious, or worried about "home" even though i am going to have to transition out of a place i dearly love.
because we are...in another transition. but because of those moments in the car, now i'm happy to tell you about it. ready?
(just for fun, let's start with this...it's kind of become a tradition!)
the armstrongs have news. in fact, in a much older post, i mentioned that anytime we have news, it's either moving or babies.
well, try this one on for size, folks.
we're moving! AND we're having another baby! (to disclaim--absolutely NONE of the heartbreak had to do with having another baby. only with leaving here and not being able to raise our newest member of the family here)
whew-it's finally out there. do you feel better? i think i do.
i know, i know...
i told you that i was having a little trouble in this transition period, more so than in the others. besides being heartbroken about yoakum, i was also a little sheepish to mention another move. after all, most people kind of laughed at the first three and then started saying, "seriously?" at the next two--so who knows what you're all thinking now! and that's okay. God allows us to see things in so many circumstances...some people have money issues, some people, sicknesses, but everybody's got something. we've got moves and transitions and the Lord has revealed more things to us in each place than we could have ever comprehended in one city. especially here in this tiny town. (and i'll rabbit trail here too to tell you why leaving yoakum will be no easy task. we have watched our babies grow into toddlers here--lori's walking by the way!--have watched our garden grow--zucchini, squash, tomatoes, cucumbers!--have done some serious cow studying, have been able to spend SO much time with ALL of our family, and have made some dear, precious friends. and i just plain love living in a teensy weensy town.) but now it's time to move on. to humble, that is. humble, the "h" is silent, by the way, is located in the far, northeastern stretches of houston. used to be an old oil city...now it's still kind of an old city but with new city things everywhere and a church called Humble Area's First Baptist Church (not to be confused with FBCH--houston, of course). after certain job circumstances, some deep heart searching, and the recognition that, as trite as it sounds, God is working in our lives beyond our control, michael is going back full-time onto a church staff. he is an executive pastor over all media ministry, and is the worship pastor. he's been there for several weeks and comes home when it's possible unless we visit him there. and he is still trying to wrap up helping the church in austin. so on sundays, he plays in humble and drives to austin for the evening service, then back to yoakum for a day, then back to houston for work. did i mention this transition is a little tricky? we are praying our home sells quickly so that we can join him. it's no surprise but it's amazing how much you can see not having their dad at home affects the babies.
and speaking of babies, The Lord has put another sweet one right there in my womb again. in fact, nolan and lori mauled me this evening looking for that baby in my tummy. nolan finally decided that he, too, had a baby in his tummy, and since we were at it, he said so did sissy. without revealing a few personal details, it's no slight miracle that we're pregnant. so, again, we were a little surprised but no less joyful. here are a few facts for you. when this baby is born (very early december), nolan will still be 2! can you believe that? but lori and sweet, new baby will be about 21 months apart. i know it won't be cake but i feel more ready for that challenge after a 14 month difference. i'm sure there are things in store that i can't imagine. and that's good. because finding those things out as they happen is certainly home too!
and that, my friends, has been our life for the past month (or longer...). i know i haven't called, i haven't written. every last bit of energy has gone into sorting out the swirl around us. (i also haven't called because i lost a third phone in three months and, no matter how many times you think you've given it to me, i do NOT have your number!) forgive me!
i hope that your homes, be they changing dirty diapers, potty training, fixing meals, or the furthest reaches from mommyhood, are well and are very present in your hearts. now that i am on the road back to "home," i'd love to hear where you are "living" right now.
and check in every now and then. maybe things will start picking up weekly around here instead of monthly! until then, take care!
