true confessions from a before-picture mom

i've arrived.
no. not to that incredibly wise place where i know about important things and am confident in my decision-making. though that has happened, it has not happened often. just occasionally. semi-occasionally.
and i've especially not arrived to the place where people see me and think, wow, she's got it together. let me know if i do get there, by the way. we'll throw a party or something.
nope, i've arrived to the "before" picture-place.
you know when you've seen the before picture of the tired mom who looks like she's been working hard labor for some time? i guess there is a time or two where i sneak in an acceptable hair-do/outfit with some make-up to boot. but again, we're going to go with semi-occasionally. just think of the show "10 years younger" on TLC. those are the before shots to which i am comparing my arrival.
now, i'm not speaking of this because i'm proud. in fact, it's kind of a terrible discovery. and i'm less than thrilled that my discovery happened to me with an audience.
i was at a dps office in a nearby city. i wasn't planning on being at the dps, just there because the friendly bank teller reminded me that no money was mine to withdraw if i couldn't prove it was mine. and my expired license couldn't prove it. no problem...add an errand to the day's list.
at the dps, i met another friendly lady who reminded me i would be getting my picture re-taken.

slight panic attack-
"okay, really? i mean, is it that important? seriously, i wasn't prepared...my hair is in a pony tail and that's not normal-they won't recognize me (HA!), i just had a baby...PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE!!!!"

have i ever bothered to talk about how i hate having my picture taken? lots of stress there. just don't like it.

and to make it worse, not only did my new friend assure that YES i would be posing for my new license, she also started suggesting i spruce up. i believe it went like this,
"yes, every time you come in to our office, we take your picture."
smile.
"now, you want to do something?; take your hair down; try something else?"
hmmm.
i mean, i know i didn't exactly fix my hair that morning but there was some effort. besides, didn't you see the car seat i've got hanging from my arms??? i've got other, higher priorities than standing in front of the mirror. i'm molding my babies little minds, hearts, teaching them everything they know! i mean, for pete's sake, i am busy shaping the future!!!

okay now i'm just getting dramatic. but it's way more fun.

my friend just smiled. i laughed like i could care less and said, "what you see is what you get." (inside i was cringing)
and so that sneaky lady snapped that nasty camera.

i was speechless when she showed me the picture...my "before" picture...and now recorded, by the state of Texas, as my identity. what a great, amazing moment for me.

later that night, my beautiful, crazy daughter helped start the healing process. some show was on tv in the background. we weren't really paying attention so when lori started yelling, "Mama! Mama!," i thought she was actually talking to me. turns out, brooke shields, uh-hmmm, BROOKE SHIELDS, appeared on-screen and she was pointing to the tv. to be sure i knew what was happening, i said, "sissy, who is that?" she walked to the tv, pointed again, and said, "it's Mama!"

okay, beautiful child of mine, you can think that.
and if my sweet daughter thinks she saw the correct image of me, then maybe there is hope for an "after" picture.
i'll be sure to post that picture.
when i look like brooke shields.
try not to hold your breath.

and speaking of images, let me share a few of the crazy girl :) she makes us laugh more than i can mention. she loves dress up and you never know what you are going to get next. that's my girl.   

(here she is modeling her brother's shoes and a net from the butterfly game)